Until u hear it from me,the rest are just hearsays.,,
& Sunday, June 24, 2007
I won't lie.
Im saddened.
I was waiting for this moment for quite sometime now.
Fine to you its just 18.
To me I thought we could embark on a different journey with where our relationship goes.
But just now prooves that you're still strapped back by your dated self.
The you I grew up thinking, GOD I hate this woman.
I was waiting for my 18th.
For you to tell me how proud you were of me.
How much you've seen I've grown.
But the you, I detested and rejected all my life came bck with full force tonight.
You are all about face!
All about presentation.
Whil I was touch that you planned it all.
I know half the time, it was your excuse to showcase to everyone else that you can whip something up and be the perfect mother figure.
Just look at just now.
All you cared was that the noodles were stale.
When you saw me sitting one corner of the house to myself,
you continued Karaokaeing, not even thinking of me and whether I was enjoying myself.
I dismissed that.
I decided to use my laptop to keep me busy.
But no you exclaimed at the top of your voice:
"People are here to celebrate your birthday and there you are using your laptop!"
HELLO! WHAT CELEBRATION!?
Im outcasted at my own party.
You dont even care that I'm not having fun.
When it was time to celebrate my birthday..
You were busy asking me if I have switched the aircon on so that the little cousin can change in peace.
When it was time to take pictures.
The one picture I want to take.
You were'nt there.
You were busy entertaining the guest.
The guest who came on impulse and not even the slightest awarness that it was my birthday celebration.
When it was time to open my gifts.
You were busy talking away with the impulse guest.
When it was my turn to make my birthday wish.
You were busy asking me to pass the cake to the impulse guest.
Im hurt.
I wanted you to finally embrace a different relationship this year.
I went up the longest while just now cause I was tearing.
As I'm typing away now,
You are still busy entertaining the guest.
You know what.
Nevermind. It was 17 years dealing with you like that.
This year shouldn't be a challenge to overcome.
I grew stale. This is mundane. Im narcoticized.
Tomorrow is the friends.
Hah. As funny as it sounds.
I've grown to learn that they will show they care more than you have.
Thanks, for tonight.
I sure felt special.
( 8:19 AM )