Until u hear it from me,the rest are just hearsays.,,
& Tuesday, April 24, 2007
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!?
I know it is ANNOYING, to keep ranting and ranting about how much I miss Australia!
Especially if I rant to my friends who didn't get a chance to go to Australia. But this morning I woke up early, because I remember liking waking up early, making it to class without running and actually experiencing digestion in the morning-it means breakfast basically.
But amidst all that I manage to achive this morning.
Something was missing!
It was the being able to wake up to know that companion across you!
It was being able to know that you are both pathetic and cooking sad breakfasts for yourselves!
It was being able to know that Reza and the boys need you to wake them up!
Basically its a lot about having people you like LIVING around you.
I am quite a complex person!
It is not that I hate my family, but sometimes I prefer living with some insignificant others.
Then and only then can you not feel so ...i dunno! Can't quite fathom!
If there is something I hate about myself that is both good and bad at the same time, is my having too much emotions!
Its ANNOYING! I care too much! Too Much for my own good.
Hasanah once said, that she appreciattes me caring about others sometimes. It is a rare to see someone so sincerely involved in another person's problem.
But sometimes I just feel like going to a stand still and be different!
People like to use my happiness to their advantage.
I think it's getting obvious!
Sometimes I question myself.
What if I stop being nice?
What if I stop smiling and laughing?
What if I say no and don't comply to your requests?
What if I stop being happy every moment?
What if I don't want to talk to YOU anymore?
What if I don't want YOU in the friendship list?
What if I don't want to do SIFE recruitement?
What if I want to dye my hair red and green?
What if You care a little bit more?
What if I think YOU'RE INCOMPETENT?
What if I punch that aunty from Toys'R'us at Tampines?
WHAT ABOUT THAT!?
Sometimes also I wish I was like Munah and don't get affected easily by things.
Be ruthless!
Be careless!
Hey! I tell myself how to feel! No?
The girl has quite a good Mission Statement!
BUT NO!
I may not show it....
BUT I CAREEEEEEEE FUCKING ENOUGH TO GET AFFECTED EVEN WHEN I AM NOT INVOLVE!
One day, I am gonna strap myself to a chair!
And everytime I feel any form of emotion I will get a Retard to zap me!
Today I screamed at Dominic!
He deserved it.
Get use to it ok?
I don't think I can be very much like last Academic Year!
Its called Mellowing!
I hate knowing that I am older.
I hate that my young life is ticking away, and here I am not living my passion
-like drama, dance, art and stuffs!
Don't you get it?
The day we signed up our lives in CMM, we signed onto someone else to own our life.
Our time!
Our energy!
Our Goddamn Socialising!
We are the girl from Devil wears Prada,
We are Ugly Betty,
We are Will Smith from Pursuit of Happines!
EVERYTHING I AM IM DAMNED!
I dunno why the sudden emo.
But sometimes I feel like a twine of SHIT!
There is something lingering around these days.
Like a lingering taste or a longing for sweetness in ur pallet!
Something that I know I wanted in a Loooooooooong time.
The package so perfect you want to unwrap and just digest it immediately.
But no, there is always a catch! ALWAYS!
And you, Im afraid that too much of me and you might get sick and so die!
Like Enough! This was not as sweet as it was before.
What Munah calls, Narcotisysing Dysfunstion or Lulled to Passivity?
I mean honey, you are definitely gonna see me a lot this time round.
What if you get so sick..you throw up on my face?
I can just imagine you know!
On another note; I found out sweet things makes me happy!
And as off now!
I have sweetness coating nothingness in my tastebuds!
I need someone to feed my despair.
Someone should get me chocolates!
But it cannot be someone close- esp you HASANAH!
I don't want another thing from you..you gave me enough!
You too sweet babe!
It has to be someone so random and insignificant- that it actually BECOMES Significant!
Someone like...
..like
ANTHONY! 
Australia will always be loved!
( 4:23 AM )
