Until u hear it from me,the rest are just hearsays.,,
& Friday, January 19, 2007
Understatement, Underwhelm, Under appreciated!
I think feeling under appreciated is the most miserable feeling you can get. That is why they give consolation prizes no? To make someone know that their efforts in participating is worth it all and recognised. It acknowledges effort and make up for not getting paid, promoted, seal points.
I saw Nicole bawling just now and I finally come into terms with myself and this emotion I tried to comprehend. It IS feeling UNDER APPRECIATED!
I think no one understands that we are human and students in our own way. I share Nicole's story on how we worked ass off making time off to help the show runs smoothly and at the end of it all get unnecessary Bull from the casts. I have my concerns for that daughter of a dutchman, but I don't think people appreciate us enough because unlike Mato and Ashwin, our roles in the committee don't allow us to show the cast that we're working our asses off!
For instance Munah and Me have endlessly been shopping from Saturday hunting for everyone's costume. We even burned our time over the weekend and Munah spent her cash first for the production (Of which she got a scolding from her daddy). I mean could anyone have spared their $500 first, the way Mun did?
We even went all out to rent wigs, get personalised request on getting a red tie or a slim black tie (maybe 2) and get calls in the morning to get shirts and apron and what nots? And not seeing it being used during the staging..it hurts. Because to us, it is like buying a younger sibling a really cool toy they wanted, but after a few times playing they leave it to collect dust in the corner.
Really if it was up to some of us, we don't have to get involved in this but we make time to make it work. Sometimes a little "Good Job Munah/Hirzi/Nicole/Ashwin/Mato sometimes goes a LOOOOONG way!"
Ok so the props may be ugly, the costumes may be the wrong sizes. But if you take time to ask us, Mun and me have been having endless 9ams to 11pm for 7 freaking days already (tmr excluded).
I miss my sister. I just took time of blogging a while ago to feed her medications.
I was eating just now, when I notice my cousins convocation portrait tht my parents takes great pride in. Maybe because someday they would love to see this son of theirs and his sister wear the same outfit. Sometimes, I envy her, because in our Lepak community only one in a million makes it.
Then I remember why I do this. I want to make a difference in the way people view my community. I rememeber my Interview with Mr. Selvan to CMM; "I want to be the first malay radio Deejay to air in an English station", said I.
Mr Selvan tries to recall off any Malay deejay, realises they weren't any..and nodded.
Maybe thats what gotten me in CMM today.
I just want people to realise, as I laugh my ass off and make a fool out of myself everytime, beneath it is a layer of someone real who does not want others to know he is crumbling under pressure. Hence the whole I am whacked persona!
Everyday hearing the people that I cared for dropping off school just makes me fear, if I'm even cut out. Jason and Steff, I hope ya'll are doing good!
Dearest Nicole,
Let assholes be assholes.
If they chose to be verbal Dhireoa (however you spell that), let them clean up after themselves.
We can pour in the antiseptic for them, but I ain't gonna touch his bottoms!
Weird analogy!
I was scared when I saw you tearing and trembling, I thought your low blood was about to make you pass out in front of me.
I feared my life ok?
We will do fine.
After all it speaks a lot about their maturity.
Besides I think everyone in the meeting just now, Mr Lim included, can judge how bad he handled the confrontation?
And we..we just end off what we started.
Says Munah to me once; "We don't need to get affected over people that don't make a difference in our lives!"
So after tmr,you just focus on your year 3 shit!
(Oh how I dread!)
Love Hirzi!
P/S:If anyone wants o buy my purple shirt, with the flying dutchman's daughter's tears on the right side, Please contact me! Biding starts at $100. AHAHA! Now nicole is gonna kill me! She doesnt want anyone to know actually!
Run away! Run Away!
( 7:47 AM )