Until u hear it from me,the rest are just hearsays.,,
& Saturday, October 14, 2006
the security in Numbers.
Numbers means everything.
It gives you Security.
It gives you Esteem.
It gives you comfort.
It gives you the confident.
No one let loose alone.
No one go wild alone.
No one can be bitchy alone..
and..
No one can be happy alone.
*After an hour of waiting*
Me: Man.. Can you fetch me. The bus does not seem to be coming anytime soon.
Man: Now what time already? You should be home by what time..
Me: You know what forget it. I can just wait for the bus.
Waits for Bus for another 15 mins. Time then. 1150. Thinks to self. No way to transit to second bus in time.
Wait you got to listen to this..Its happening as i'm typing.
Woman: So in drama, what are you about? (Correct English please)
Me: *Grumbles* (Lazy to answer).
Woman: Huh?
Me: *Reluctant* Fairy Tales.
Woman: Again?! Secondary school do fairy tales. Now also want to do fairy tales? (Translates for Non-malay readers) Do lah about Real Life stories! About a Boy who never want to listen to the mother. (Innocently and sarcastic) Then can make it a lesson for all.
Right..
Still annoying me!
So where was I? Oh yes the other conversation?
So after 1150. Decides has to get a ride home.
Calls Man.
Man: Ah. What is it?
Me: The bus is still not here yet. I really need you to fetch me.
Man: *Grumbles* YOU NEED TO MANAGE YOUR TIME. Understand? Where are you now?
Me: School's Bus stop.
Man: Wait there.
.Arrives.
Man> Rushes home - Opens the door - Watch Soccer.
ENVY. Yes thats my sin.
I was waiting at the bus stop staring at people. They all were at least in twos. Not one alone. Except of course me. So the bus stop empties..and i was still alone. Thinking..about numbers. I envy those who are really truly, genuinely, sacrificingly being loved by people. I have no one. I see Mun, waiting for her mum to send her home. Nisha sent by some bikers. And the 3 wishes cast going home in groups. But there i was, begging to be sent home.
Perhaps this heart, that pretends love is all that is misery, longs for it?
When I shut it about a year or so..
I keep letting my life statement be..
"I Don't Understand Love, All kinds of love and the people involved?"
After all, while guys get the pleasure to dump their other half at least once.
I was always the one who got dumped!
Growing up to different homes at different stages of my childhood too, probably make me bitter about the fuzzy thing called love.
I don't blame them to make ends meet.
But its the constant picking on me, trying to sculpt the perfect son thing that i can't stand.
And how to you, the other son will always be better, no matter how much i do things to make you proud.
Yes Love.
Love makes me feel i'm lacking something..
Love makes me feel ugly.
Love disgusts me. Or do i want it?
MAGUS LUNA!
Disappointment.
No this time not the girls.
But me.
I can smile.
I can say my thank you's.
But only i can value what i did..and how much i give.
I felt underwhelmed by myself.
It especially feels more miserable, if your cast that you coached, did you proud but you messed up.
But either way.
It was fun.
The girls did me proud.
We did it.
Thats it now.
All the hard work..
and there'll be no more of it.
I love the time my Drama mates spent together.
Kay.
Munah. Wait maybe not. I'll still see you.
Aisha.
Nisha.
Yana.
3 wishes cast.
Mato.
Priya.
Fadzley.
Pika.
Mas.
Ashwin.
Harvey..
Oh and everyone else too..
It did turned out after all splendid.
Ok this is too long a post.
Cont'd from top.
( 9:40 AM )